3rd
Favorite part of a CL post
Just to clear things up, the following are NOT defenses to criminal
charges:
“I thought the cop was a prostitute.”
“That crank was bunk, anyway.”
“I just put my junk a little bit of the way in.”
“I just dropped my truck off in the desert for 15 minutes. By the time I came back, someone must have accidently loaded 250 kilos in it.”
“I didn’t know that Kara_AZ_13 was really Dectective Uhall of the Tucson Police Department.
“But it was my first time.”
The following are probably not defenses to crimes, but MAY be defenses:
“The bitch ain’t even dead.” If my file contains an autopsy report, I think the professional rules of conduct bar me from advancing The Bitch Ain’t Dead defense.
“I take back what I said to Officer Friendly.” Did the cop hold a gun to your head to make you talk? No. Did he forget to read you Miranda? No. Did you waive Miranda and talk to the cop? Yes. Then no take backs, sorry!!!
“I thought it was a regular brownie.”
“It was just a butter knife.”
“I can’t believe it’s not butter.”
And now for the strong defenses:
“The cop had no reason to pull me over.”
“I was asleep, and I’ve never sleep-walked before.”
“The other guy was pointing a gun at me.”
“I’m not Juan Rodriguez.”
